Unreality

I did a google check on the word, and ‘Unreality’ is a proper word. What made me think about it at 4:33 am on Sunday Morning, the stars perhaps. Gazing at the deep dark space, listening to the Blues selected by YouTube, I just wondered, where am I? I have had those thoughts before, did my research online too. But no one has any answer. No one knows where we are. How can anyone?

I am on the rooftop of my apartments, in Bangalore, in India, on Earth, in the Milky Way, in the Universe I Call Home. But where is my Home located. Well the answer or lack of thereof trips me up. If my Gods created me, who created them, at least they must have a home, there must be some starting point. May be its all-pervasive, its omnipotent, it’s omnipresent, but where is it present? Am I real? If I am, what is the purpose of my existence? Do I even need a purpose to exist, many before me came and went, many after will too. Why do I worry, if all of this is not even going to matter?

Am I facing an existential crisis, yes, but not of the depressing kind. It’s more of the inquisitive kind, the fun kind. I was upset, and now I am not, because I realize these small things don't matter. Usually I do realize it in the hindsight, but realizing it at this moment makes me feel a certain kind of freedom that I didn't feel earlier. I just need that constant realization of this Unreality to be constantly Happy or at least to be at Peace with the World within and the World out there.

I don’t really want to think much about the Unreality, because it has no answer, for now. And understanding something that can’t be explained can make a person feel unhinged. So I will just assume that we are mass of atoms, blinking in and out of existence from single dimension to multi dimensions. I know my assumption doesn’t make any sense, but then neither anything else does. The only takeaway for me tonight is that anytime, anything makes me worry, just thing about the Unreality of it and work on solving the issue with a lighter Heart.